The Things You See In Randolph County, IL
Evansville, IL is a small country town, located right on the Kaskaskia river and has a very ‘Mayberry-ish’ feel to it. The town has a cop…..not cops……a cop. Everyone knows everybody and their business. Once a year they have ‘Evansville Days’, it’s basically a town picnic…..or frat party, depending on how you look at it. Personally, I’m more of a frat party kinda girl myself.
My friend Christy’s mom owns a bar and we go down there during this time, along with our friend Sarah, to help out. It’s a great place to people watch. At times, I am completely stunned at what I see.
There was a guy who spent days creating a cowboy hat out of a couple of Milwakee’s Best boxes. It’s my understanding that he has a degree in engineering and this is what he does with his free time. Although, I will admit that I was kind of impressed with the hat.
Another guy walked up to the bar wearing a t-shirt that said, ‘If you mess with me….you mess with the whole trailer park’……classic……wonder where I can get Gene one of those.
I have never seen so many ‘man boobies’ in one place in my life. Not to mention all the whale tails and muffin tops.
Then there was the chick in the green mini dress and black stilettos who apparently confused Evansville Days with the senior prom.
Buttcracks…..here a buttcrack, there a buttcrack, everywhere a buttcrack. Ever hear of a belt?
Across the street from Sue’s bar there’s Shank’s meat market where they sell hats that say, ‘You can’t beat our meat’…..I’ll take your word for it.
And my all-time favorite of the night……the sixty year old woman who was bumping and grinding with her seventy-five year old boyfriend/husband to Buck Cherries ‘Crazy Bitch’. I could have lived the rest of my life without seeing that train wreck. EEWWWW!!
Next year I’m taking my camera.
But all in all, Evansville is a great little town. Having lived in a large city all my life, it’s nice to get a true glimpse of small town living. The fact that everyone knows their neighbors makes me feel safe, even if they only have one cop. The few times that I’ve been there the people are warm and friendly and always remember me. If you’re a boater, it’s a great place to dock. Stop in at ‘Just Sue’s and Crew’ and have a pizza, Bloody Mary or a huge Bucket of Love that has made Sue famous in those parts. Tell her Angie sent ya.