I HAD to borrow this picture from another website.
Look at her ankle…..I didn’t know Wal-Mart was on the radar for house arrest. Personally, I would have been hiding it under the sweatpants…..but nnnooooooooo…..let’s display that fine accessory proudly.
You better believe I won’t be line jumping that big bitch.
When you check out a friends pics on Facebook or Myspace do you look at everything that goes on in the background?
I do and sometimes I’m stunned at what’s back there. There are pictures showing crap piled up and falling over, dirty dishes, dirt covering the floor. It’s nasty. I would too embarassed to post pictures if that were my house. People post pictures of their kids in the bath tub and there’s mold everywhere. Don’t people know that you can actually get sick from that? You should be ashamed of yourself.
Some of the absolute best pictures are of people trying to be sexy and there’s dirty laundry piled up all over and curtains tied in a knot. Once, I even saw a picture a woman and there was an obviously dirty pair of underwear on the floor. Can you say ‘skidmarks‘?EWWWW!!!!
I guess I’m using this post as a calling out of sorts. I’m not looking at pictures of your kids, I’m looking at your nasty house. And, yes…I’m judging you. This is usually the part where I say, ‘Not judging!’ but it’s so obvious that I am.
Here are few suggestions from a budding amateur photographer……me……
1)clean your house
2) use some photo editing
3) move the scene out to the alley which is probably cleaner than your house.
Below is a perfect example of what I’m talking about. Cute kid, though.
CLEAN YOUR FRIGGIN’ HOUSE!!!!
After Mass this morning I was starving when I got home. (In case you don’t know, Catholics aren’t supposed to eat before Mass) Gene had to run an errand and brought back McDonalds for me.
Why do I go there?
WHY….in the hell, do I go there?
He gives me my food and says, ‘Got a surprize for you , baby’. When I opened up the hamburger box I had a surprize for him. Once again, the PhD’s at McDonalds forgot to put the burger on my sandwich. This is the second time this particular McDonalds has done this and this time they didn’t even give me a free value meal. This is also the one where I recieved a middle finger salute from an employee. I recommend that none of you ever go to the one at Hampton and Chippewa. The service just sucks.
So, in closing, I say this to the Hampton Village McDonalds…..SCREW YOU, I’m goin’ to Burger King.
And they wonder why I throw hamburgers at them in the drive-thru.
What I saw at my niece’s birthday party tonight just took the cake. They had a ‘non-violent pinata’. WTF is THAT?!?!?! You don’t use a stick to break it. It has streamers hanging from it and kid’s pull them one at a time and one of the strings pull the thing open to let the candy fall out.
As I have mentioned in the past, I think we are raising a generation of wussies. I’m not one of those parents who wants everyone to get a trophy because, heaven forbid, you’re loser kid should get his feelings hurt and cry. Tell little Johnny to grow a pair and play harder next time. Fair competition teaches kids to set and achieve goals. It also teaches them how to be graceful losers. Besides, I firmly believe that a little childhood trauma helps build character.
I think banning dodge ball on school playgrounds is stupid. It’s not violent. They used to play brick tag where I grew up. (If you’re bleeding…you’re it!!) My sister’s nephew was sent home from school because he was playing cops and robbers with some friends on the playground and the teacher saw this 1st grader make a gun out of his thumb and index finger. Stupid….just plain stupid.
I wish someone could explain to me how whacking a paper mac-he box is violent. How could you possibly win ten grand on Funniest Home Videos if there’s no chance of Grandpa getting whacked in the nuts with a wiffle ball bat? (Not to mention…that’s just damn funny.) I’m thinking I might start a new group on Facebook….‘Put The Violence Back In Pinata’s’
Now, that’s the proper way to whack a pinata!!!!!!
Every now and then Gene likes to give me trouble about the fact that I don’t do my own nails. Like every other woman on the face of the earth, I like to be pampered every now and then. (Okay….every other week.) And like every other man on the face of the earth, Gene just doesn’t get it. So one day, about two weeks ago, I decided to show him that I can do my own nails, I just don’t want to do my own nails.
This was my first mistake.
I go into the bathroom and get out my tote of nail polish, pick out a color and begin to shake the bottle. Now, when you shake a bottle of nail polish you take the bottle and hit it against the palm of your hand, over and over again. After about the third or fourth hit I heard a little pop and felt something wet splash on me. I look around and see that I am covered in hot pink nail polish and it’s all over the bathroom, the corner of the bottle just broke off.
CRAP!!!
It’s all over the front of my shirt, the toilet, the floor and worst of all, the white tiled wall of the bathroom. Again….CRAP!!!
This is bad. Really bad.
The bathroom tile was originally an ugly peach color with white trim on the top and black trim at the bottom. (I think we got the remnant house, trust me, it was ugly.) About two years ago, Gene and I paid a couple of grand for a company to come in and repaint the tile and reglaze the bath tub because we didn’t want to deal with the headache of gutting the bathroom.
Anyway…there’s hot pink nail polish all over my left hand and a HUGE splatter of it on the tiled wall. I think to myself…’It’s ok. I’ll just clean my hands and wipe it off the walls before it dries.’ (Mistake number 2)
What I failed to remember is that water won’t remove nail polish only nail polish remover will…hence the name….DUH!
All the water did was help spread it on both sides of both hands. CRAP!!!
Now I’ve got a full blown disaster on my hands…literally. But if you notice I had plenty of time to grab my camera and take pictures of all of this. Your welcome. I finally get my hands to a point of being able to touch other things in the all white bathroom. I get a wet paper towel and think I’m just going to wipe the polish off the wall because after all, it’s just tile, it should wipe right off. WRONG!! (This would be mistake #3) It’s already starting to dry around the edges…..damn you Loreal and your stupid quick drying formula….. and the rest just smears all over the wall. CRAP!!! It’s not coming off and I can’t use polish remover because it will take the white paint off the wall.
Since I can’t get it off the wall I go start to clean it off the toilet and floor. Now, that just wipes off. ( I love porcelain) After cleaning my hands I begin to think about what I can do about the wall and decide that I’m going to have to use polish remover. Shouldn’t be to much of a problem….except that I’m almost out of remover. CRAP!!! I’m home by myself with the baby which means I can’t go get any because I can’t touch her. Gene is in a buisness meeting and I can’t call so I send a text.
Angela texting: Call home when you leave meeting. Kind of an emergency but not really.
Gene texting: What’s wrong?
Angela: Need you to stop and get a couple of bottles of nail polish remover.
Gene: This is your emergency? I’m in a meeting.
(yeah….and you’re texting me so shut up) but I was in no position to actually say this out loud…or text it.
Angela: Need to get polish off the bathroom wall. Love you!!
Not long after that text I get a phone call.
Gene: Please tell me it’s on the green part of the wall. (This whole mess would have been much easier to clean up if it had been on the green part and we wouldn’t be having this conversation but that’s just not my luck, now is it?)
Angela: Ummmm…..no…not only is it on the white part but I smeared it all over the white part when I tried to wipe it off.
Gene: …..sigh…..how bad?
Angela: Ummmm…..not to bad…hee hee….
After the phone call I thought I should go back in the bathroom and try to get some off before Gene got home so it wouldn’t look as bad. Turns out I was able to get nearly all of it off without removing to much white, there was just a tiny little strip in the crack. You just have to be careful when you do that….dab…wipe with water…dab…wipe with water…it’s very tedious
When Gene got home he took a look at the wall and decide it wasn’t too bad, although he wouldn’t quit shaking his head at me. As he was walking out of the bathroom he noticed the camera sitting on a ledge in the hallway.
Gene: Wait a second….did you stop cleaning this to take pictures for your blog?
Again…..you’re welcome.